So, let me first start by stating: Im new to this site, and I have little understanding but hope to learn it, and use it as one of my "tools" in what I call my "Sobriety tool kit". Maybe even, someone will read this and even like it enough to write me and let me know this is not just me and my computer:)

If anything resonates in my head right now, its that Doors song, going something like "people are strange, when your a stranger people are strange when you're alone". I keep thinking JUST HOW MUCH I have become a stranger to myself, and how My addiction has kept me so isolated that I now view myself outside society and even as a seperate entity thus  ALL people are strange to me since I am afterall, Alone. I believe that the drugs cause all addicts to be alone, even if in a room filled with people. Because although my addiction effects others, my addiction is mine, is my struggle and although others can help me, it is me at the end of the day that has to decide what steps to take to stay sober.
I only recently SAW how powerless I am,  although I may have known all along. Im going to my first meeting tommorow in over 5 years and I'm although Im happy, I hope I do not have unnatainable hopes about the meeting. I hope I find some strenght in my new NA handbook  to help me feel like I am again, not a stranger to everyone and that I may again, In time find myself not a stranger anymore as well.

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