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Page 62

Posted by: Pati B.

Tagged in: Untagged 

Pati B.

I recall in early sobriety, when whining to my sponsor about this or that or them...he would invariably refer me to Page 62, second paragraph of the Big Book...."So our troubles, we think, are basically of our own making."   Then the conversation would move around to "My will vs. God's will".  One of his directions to me was to look for the "God Shot" in my life. You know, those little things like walking down the street and you turn left instead of right and find the perfect view of the mountains or a $5 bill, both of which bring Joy.  Or a friend calls you right when you really needed to talk to someone but were to afraid/lazy/busy to make a call.

Since that time, I've had many opportunities to experience the Universal Energy, God, Higher Power working in and around me for my highest good.   At times I've been so utterly amazed. But, as a friend of mine says "we have built in forgeters" so I need to be constantly reminded.  Luckily, the Universe does this!! 

One of the lessons I've recently had to re-learn has been that I can't do it all, nor do I need to.  I was thinking and acting as though I was in charge.  I'm not, I know that!!  There is a Universal Force at work in my life.  Fact that's borne out as I add days to my years of Sobriety.  I didn't do that.  God did.   

I'd also forgotten that I have many sober friends that I wasn't sharing my truth with.  I gets really heavy when you have to carry all of life's troubles around all by yourself.   They've  been helping me carry things for years, but I somehow stopped letting them help.  Not a wise move on my part. 

So, currently my daily prayer starts with "Thy will, not mine, be done", then:  Please let me remember that I've turned my will and my life over to your CARE, and let me remember to share my joys and sorrows with my sober friends trudging this road beside me.

Until later, Cheers

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Came to Believe - Step 2

Posted by: Pati B.

Tagged in: Untagged 

Pati B.

I remember early in sobriety having some great concern about this step.  I had never really believed in any kind of spiritual power greater than me, only in the power of the rest of the world and people over my life and their ability to cause me great pain and suffering.  I mean if there was really some God or Universal Power out there, why had all these bad things happened to me all my life.  (At this point in my recovery, little did I know how much my choices had caused a great majority of this pain).   But an early sponsor explained to me about the difference between man's free will and the strength of a Power Greater than myself and how I could make a simple choice to believe in this Power.  This seemed so strange to me!  That just making a choice to believe I automatically would believe???   Nonsense.   But, in my strong desire to never have to drink again, I followed sponsorial direction and made that choice, speaking out loud to my sponsor that I had.


Well, an amazing thing happened to me.  I started being able to see how this Power was now working in my life.  Certainly the first and most obvious thing was it had been months since I'd had a drink.  Previous to sobriety, I couldn't not drink.  It wasn't my doing.  All I did was admit my desire to not drink.  

Then I started noticing other evidence of a PGTM.  Things some might call coincidences. Friends that were staying sober under the most trying circumstances.  Little "God Shots" all around me.  Soon I was watching for them, amazed at the multitude!   

Somewhere along the line, my "Belief" in a Power Greater Than Myself" became Faith, that I was cared for and provided for, by this power.   And I have been.  In the many years of my sobriety I seen too much to deny this great fact.

 

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