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February 5 | AA 12 Steps In Action | Step 2 | 2012 | Today's AA daily: "a glorious release" was the beginning of freedom on a daily basis from the slavery of addiction to alcohol. In my early days, it did not feel glorious at all. I will still full of old beliefs, attitudes and behaviour which were not bad in balance simply complete blocks in my recovery. The old ideas: standing on my own two feet and being strong, resilient and stubborn and not a quitter. The glorious release, becoming open honest and willing to change, yes resilient but not stubborn in trying to be my old self…

Learning to have courage faith and confidence to listen to others and to new ways of living is not easy. What had seemed to work perfectly well have driven me into addiction, not only to alcohol, it made me stubborn and stuck. Striving for perfection, ignoring and covering up the pain of life, life could only be seen in terms of success. The right career, right girl, right house and all the trimmings of the things which demonstrated life was good. All I really needed to know in recovery was how to cherish people places and things just the way they are and are today…

Released from having to be right, from having to be someone based on values which really had no value except to mask what was missing in me. The glorious release, of not having to be right, not knowing the questions and not knowing the answers became a joyful feeling within me. If I don't have to be right, powerful and dominate anything or anyone, I'm making progress today…

Living in the moment of now, I do ask myself each morning how am I feeling? Why? And what may I do? In the context of step one I am powerless over alcohol, people places and things and if I try to control anything I know I will narrow my choices to my blinkered outlook. And of course as a result life will often get unmanageable. Better to know how others feel, why and what we can do together. Interdependent we are and we work it out together making free choices based on how life is and coping with our real life right now… The glorious release and freedom from self, sharing and understanding how life may be today…

DonInLondon 2005-2011

Sober today I become more authentic, more able to learn... When I am truthful, the result is humility and learning. Fake it to make it? If I pretend it is bravado, slows my progress, keeping myself distant and others in ignorance. Deceiving me and others is denial. Open honest and willing, progress is more constant ~ Jean-Paul Sartre "Acting is happy agony." -/- Been there done that. Truth helps life work now..

AA Daily: A GLORIOUS RELEASE ~ FEBRUARY 5, The minute I stopped arguing, I could begin to see and feel. Right there, Step Two gently and very gradually began to infiltrate my life. I can’t say upon what occasion or upon what day I came to believe in a Power greater than myself, but I certainly have that belief now. To acquire it, I had to stop fighting and practice the rest of A.A.’s program as enthusiastically as I could. TWELVE STEPS AND TWELVE TRADITIONS, p.27

After years of indulging in a “self-will run riot,” Step Two became for me a glorious release from being all alone. Nothing is so painful or insurmountable in my journey now. Someone is always there to share life’s burdens with me. Step Two became reinforcement with God, and I now realize that my insanity and ego were curiously linked. To rid myself of the former, I must give up the latter to One with far broader shoulders than my own.

-/-

February 4 | AA 12 Steps In Action | Step 2 | 2012 | Today's AA daily: "when faith is missing." Faith was certainly missing from my life from the very beginning. No understanding of God, or simply mistrust of anything religious. And an understanding driven home by real-life that hard work, doing the right thing and standing on my own two feet would lead to success. Coming into recovery, I had no blame attached to anyone but me for my predicament. In early days, the evidence that sobriety was possible started a process of developing a faith of my own understanding. And I began to trust in others in recovery…

 [url]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sEnOYNybG0k[/url] 

Courage and confidence took a while to develop in my early days. Paranoid and fearful and always looking over my shoulder kept me wanting and completely unnerved day by day. Trusting other people, who were on the same journey one day at a time, to remain sober and participate started me on the road with faith. Faith in people and learning to trust was key. And I also needed to realise that as I was fallible so others were fallible too, prone to make mistakes and at the same time learn from them. Progress in learning and having enough courage and confidence helped me start to understand what faith can be for me…

I know the notion of faith is laden with personal beliefs, usually of a religious nature. The nature of personal religious beliefs is what it is for each individual and to be respected in my opinion. Today I have faith to be a learner about all aspects of life including religion, living day by day in a practical way and developing an understanding of how to live and cope one day at a time. I have faith in people, and faith that doing the next right thing if I know it will improve my situation. If I don't know the answer, I have faith that others may and if none of us know the answer, working together we may discover the best path available wherever it may lead. And of course we learn and we can change direction learning what we can and cannot do today…

All the steps in our programme are about being open, honest and willing to change. And change is part of the bedrock of living one day at a time. It is okay not to know the answers and it is okay to be learning life every day. And if I become fearful, hide behind a brave face and try and tough out situations my faith, courage and confidence is undermined by me. Better people know when I need help and asking for help is key at any time in any day…

Many people say, "God works through people" and after years of being a sceptic, I find no argument with this understanding today…

 [url]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JkS55ZKHZ40[/url]

DonInLondon 2005-2011

"I gotta have faith?" I had no faith at all in the final days of my drinking. And in AA it took a while for me to believe and trust that people in fellowship were really sober one day at a time. Today I trust the majority in fellowship, have learned to share my truth. Secrets kept me stuck, truth sets me free. Faith in truth and the majority of good people keep me sober. And tolerance for those who are still stuck most of the time...

"And acceptance is the answer to all my problems today. When I am disturbed, it is because I find some person, place, thing or situation -- some fact of my life -- unacceptable to me, and I can find no serenity until I accept that person, place, thing or situation as being exactly the way it is supposed to be at this moment. Nothing, absolutely nothing happens in our world by mistake. Until I could accept my humanity, I could not be complete in living; unless I accept life completely on life's terms, I cannot be happy. I need to concentrate not so much on what needs to be changed in the world as on what needs to be changed in me and in my attitudes."

AA Daily: WHEN FAITH IS MISSING ~ FEBRUARY 4, Sometimes A.A. comes harder to those who have lost or rejected faith than to those who never had any faith at all, for they think they have faith and found it wanting. They have tried the way of faith and the way of no faith. TWELVE STEPS AND TWELVE TRADITIONS, p. 28

I was so sure God had failed me that I became ultimately defiant, though I knew better, and plunged into a final drinking binge. My faith turned bitter and that was no coincidence. Those who once had great faith hit bottom harder. It took time to rekindle my faith, though I came to A.A. I was grateful intellectually to have survived such a great fall, but my heart felt callous. Still, I stuck with the A.A. program; the alternatives were too bleak! I kept coming back and gradually my faith was resurrected.

-/-

February 4 | AA 12 Steps In Action | Step 2 | 2012 | Today's AA daily: "when faith is missing." Faith was certainly missing from my life from the very beginning. No understanding of God, or simply mistrust of anything religious. And an understanding driven home by real-life that hard work, doing the right thing and standing on my own two feet would lead to success. Coming into recovery, I had no blame attached to anyone but me for my predicament. In early days, the evidence that sobriety was possible started a process of developing a faith of my own understanding. And I began to trust in others in recovery…

Courage and confidence took a while to develop in my early days. Paranoid and fearful and always looking over my shoulder kept me wanting and completely unnerved day by day. Trusting other people, who were on the same journey one day at a time, to remain sober and participate started me on the road with faith. Faith in people and learning to trust was key. And I also needed to realise that as I was fallible so others were fallible too, prone to make mistakes and at the same time learn from them. Progress in learning and having enough courage and confidence helped me start to understand what faith can be for me…

I know the notion of faith is laden with personal beliefs, usually of a religious nature. The nature of personal religious beliefs is what it is for each individual and to be respected in my opinion. Today I have faith to be a learner about all aspects of life including religion, living day by day in a practical way and developing an understanding of how to live and cope one day at a time. I have faith in people, and faith that doing the next right thing if I know it will improve my situation. If I don't know the answer, I have faith that others may and if none of us know the answer, working together we may discover the best path available wherever it may lead. And of course we learn and we can change direction learning what we can and cannot do today…

All the steps in our programme are about being open, honest and willing to change. And change is part of the bedrock of living one day at a time. It is okay not to know the answers and it is okay to be learning life every day. And if I become fearful, hide behind a brave face and try and tough out situations my faith, courage and confidence is undermined by me. Better people know when I need help and asking for help is key at any time in any day…

Many people say, "God works through people" and after years of being a sceptic, I find no argument with this understanding today…

DonInLondon 2005-2011

"I gotta have faith?" I had no faith at all in the final days of my drinking. And in AA it took a while for me to believe and trust that people in fellowship were really sober one day at a time. Today I trust the majority in fellowship, have learned to share my truth. Secrets kept me stuck, truth sets me free. Faith in truth and the majority of good people keep me sober. And tolerance for those who are still stuck most of the time...

"And acceptance is the answer to all my problems today. When I am disturbed, it is because I find some person, place, thing or situation -- some fact of my life -- unacceptable to me, and I can find no serenity until I accept that person, place, thing or situation as being exactly the way it is supposed to be at this moment. Nothing, absolutely nothing happens in our world by mistake. Until I could accept my humanity, I could not be complete in living; unless I accept life completely on life's terms, I cannot be happy. I need to concentrate not so much on what needs to be changed in the world as on what needs to be changed in me and in my attitudes."

AA Daily: WHEN FAITH IS MISSING ~ FEBRUARY 4, Sometimes A.A. comes harder to those who have lost or rejected faith than to those who never had any faith at all, for they think they have faith and found it wanting. They have tried the way of faith and the way of no faith. TWELVE STEPS AND TWELVE TRADITIONS, p. 28

I was so sure God had failed me that I became ultimately defiant, though I knew better, and plunged into a final drinking binge. My faith turned bitter and that was no coincidence. Those who once had great faith hit bottom harder. It took time to rekindle my faith, though I came to A.A. I was grateful intellectually to have survived such a great fall, but my heart felt callous. Still, I stuck with the A.A. program; the alternatives were too bleak! I kept coming back and gradually my faith was resurrected.

-/-

February 3 | AA 12 Steps In Action | Step 2 | 2012 | Today's AA daily reflections: "filling the void" strikes me on many levels in recovery. The amount of time I spent drinking in those last dark days left no room for me let alone anyone else. I became a 24 seven drinker. When I stopped, the immense gap and emptiness felt like a minute was an hour, an hour felt like a day and a week felt like a year-long. As time has passed, I never seem to have enough time to do all the things that are possible today. From the dark and loneliness and isolation and emptiness, to a life full of possibilities and simply to be lived one day at a time…

[video:http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gCQtV1EdBHg 210x172]

Another question raised, "do I now believe or am I willing to believe that there is a power greater than me?" And I can answer honestly on two levels, the first is simply there are many powers greater than me in the real world today. And higher power comes in the form of wisdom from any human source on the planet about anything and everything. And with regard to a metaphysical higher power, some call "God" is whatever anyone chooses to believe. No one needs to be challenged on their faith and belief. I for one am happy with the word God and see a connection to a collective higher consciousness we can access together or as individuals through our own conscience. I learn more just for today…

How am I feeling today? Why? What can I do? Questions I ask myself at any time of day, and in particular when I wake up in the morning. Asking myself first thing in the morning, "how am I feeling?" Knowing my mood and how I wake up influences how I start to think and act for the rest of the day. If I wake up happy, I'm likely to think happy and behave happily. If I wake up feeling fearful, I'm likely to think and act fearfully. Sometimes I wake up excited, happy and fearful in the moment and when that happens I usually ask for help from whatever source is handy. I can appeal to God, conscience and then most likely make a call, get in touch with another human being for support and encouragement to start my day…

Step two is all about opening up to asking the help from any source where there is wisdom. Support comes in the form of learning that others will take the time and be supportive if we ask. And in asking it is a request and not a demand. And the beauty of asking for help is that others will ask us for help too. We become part of something bigger than us, opening the door to fellowship: Unity, service and recovery and then the same in our community and living. These steps work if we work at living them in the moment of now and just for today…

Step 2 Reading Video Link:

 [video:http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JkS55ZKHZ40 210x172]

"Came to believe that a Power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity"

DonInLondon 2005-2011

Newcomers "Joys Of Recovery" I was there! Seeing newcomers and chips, I am amazed for each sober day a newcomer lives. Reminds me I need never take the gift of "sober today" for granted. Freedom to choose sanity, make best choices and madness an arm’s length away, cherish always

When we can stop the cycle of harming ourselves and blaming, we stop harming and blaming others, peace in the moment is freedom ~ Wayne Dyer "A mind at peace, a mind centered and not focused on harming others, is stronger than any physical force in the universe." -/- Sanity restored daily as experience develops...

AA Daily: FILLING THE VOID ~ FEBRUARY 3, We needed to ask ourselves but one short question. “Do I now believe, or am I even willing to believe, that there is a Power greater than myself?” As soon as a man can say that he does believe, or is willing to believe, we emphatically assure him that he is on his way. ALCOHOLICS ANONYMOUS, p. 47

I was always fascinated with the study of scientific principles. I was emotionally and physically distant from people while I pursued Absolute Knowledge. God and spirituality were meaningless academic exercises. I was a modern man of science, knowledge was my Higher Power. Given the right set of equations, life was merely another problem to solve. Yet my inner self was dying from my outer man’s solution to life’s problems and the solution was alcohol. In spite of my intelligence, alcohol became my Higher Power. It was through the unconditional love which emanated from A.A. people and meetings that I was able to discard alcohol as my Higher Power. The great void was filled. I was no longer lonely and apart from life. I had found a true power greater than myself, I had found God’s love. There is only one equation which really matters to me now: God is in A.A.

-/-

Email | don@doninlondon.com

Music | "music for airports" By Brian Eno | http://www.enoshop.co.uk/ |

February 3 | AA 12 Steps In Action | Step 2 | 2012 | Today's AA daily reflections: "filling the void" strikes me on many levels in recovery. The amount of time I spent drinking in those last dark days left no room for me let alone anyone else. I became a 24 seven drinker. When I stopped, the immense gap and emptiness felt like a minute was an hour, an hour felt like a day and a week felt like a year-long. As time has passed, I never seem to have enough time to do all the things that are possible today. From the dark and loneliness and isolation and emptiness, to a life full of possibilities and simply to be lived one day at a time…

[video:http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gCQtV1EdBHg 210x172]

Another question raised, "do I now believe or am I willing to believe that there is a power greater than me?" And I can answer honestly on two levels, the first is simply there are many powers greater than me in the real world today. And higher power comes in the form of wisdom from any human source on the planet about anything and everything. And with regard to a metaphysical higher power, some call "God" is whatever anyone chooses to believe. No one needs to be challenged on their faith and belief. I for one am happy with the word God and see a connection to a collective higher consciousness we can access together or as individuals through our own conscience. I learn more just for today…

How am I feeling today? Why? What can I do? Questions I ask myself at any time of day, and in particular when I wake up in the morning. Asking myself first thing in the morning, "how am I feeling?" Knowing my mood and how I wake up influences how I start to think and act for the rest of the day. If I wake up happy, I'm likely to think happy and behave happily. If I wake up feeling fearful, I'm likely to think and act fearfully. Sometimes I wake up excited, happy and fearful in the moment and when that happens I usually ask for help from whatever source is handy. I can appeal to God, conscience and then most likely make a call, get in touch with another human being for support and encouragement to start my day…

Step two is all about opening up to asking the help from any source where there is wisdom. Support comes in the form of learning that others will take the time and be supportive if we ask. And in asking it is a request and not a demand. And the beauty of asking for help is that others will ask us for help too. We become part of something bigger than us, opening the door to fellowship: Unity, service and recovery and then the same in our community and living. These steps work if we work at living them in the moment of now and just for today…

Step 2 Reading Video Link:

 [video:http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JkS55ZKHZ40 210x172

"Came to believe that a Power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity"

DonInLondon 2005-2011

Newcomers "Joys Of Recovery" I was there! Seeing newcomers and chips, I am amazed for each sober day a newcomer lives. Reminds me I need never take the gift of "sober today" for granted. Freedom to choose sanity, make best choices and madness an arm’s length away, cherish always

When we can stop the cycle of harming ourselves and blaming, we stop harming and blaming others, peace in the moment is freedom ~ Wayne Dyer "A mind at peace, a mind centered and not focused on harming others, is stronger than any physical force in the universe." -/- Sanity restored daily as experience develops...

AA Daily: FILLING THE VOID ~ FEBRUARY 3, We needed to ask ourselves but one short question. “Do I now believe, or am I even willing to believe, that there is a Power greater than myself?” As soon as a man can say that he does believe, or is willing to believe, we emphatically assure him that he is on his way. ALCOHOLICS ANONYMOUS, p. 47

I was always fascinated with the study of scientific principles. I was emotionally and physically distant from people while I pursued Absolute Knowledge. God and spirituality were meaningless academic exercises. I was a modern man of science, knowledge was my Higher Power. Given the right set of equations, life was merely another problem to solve. Yet my inner self was dying from my outer man’s solution to life’s problems and the solution was alcohol. In spite of my intelligence, alcohol became my Higher Power. It was through the unconditional love which emanated from A.A. people and meetings that I was able to discard alcohol as my Higher Power. The great void was filled. I was no longer lonely and apart from life. I had found a true power greater than myself, I had found God’s love. There is only one equation which really matters to me now: God is in A.A.

-/-

Email | don@doninlondon.com

Music | "music for airports" By Brian Eno | http://www.enoshop.co.uk/ |

February 2 | AA 12 Steps In Action | Step 2 | 2012 | today's AA daily reflection: "rescued by surrendering" was very difficult for me, to be rescued from myself. All my life taught to be strong and independent in thinking and action. Standing on my own two feet with a "stiff upper lip" and "a brave face" I would face anything and everything. The idea of being vulnerable and unable to sort myself out meant I isolated and drank because I could not stop. Saved by a simple understanding, "I cannot do this on my own" opened the door to me asking for help from anyone, anywhere and at any time…

Insanity is often described as doing the same thing over and over again and expecting a different result. That was me for a long time, doing my utmost to be in control and resolve any issue or problem I faced in life. And all the problems piled up, and my will to live and left me. Emotionally broken and unable to cope with life at all I had reached "the jumping off point" where many people simply fade away or worse not only ending their own existence, harming many others in the process. From step one, powerless and unmanageable to step two, driven mad on my own, I'm thankful I could ask for help and see strength in vulnerability…

The idea of being restored to sanity by a higher power was something I wondered about for a long time. All I needed to do in the end was accept that I have no clue how to do many things, and especially I did not know how to deal with addiction in me. The whole idea of admission and acceptance is key one day at a time, and I am grateful that step two is now a daily reminder, asking for help at any time is the greatest strength we have…

Not knowing the answers is good news for me today. Accepting that I don't know, and it's perfectly okay to be a learner in life whatever our age, removes the pressure and insanity of trying to be right, "be in the know" that anything. And all I need do is ask the help, research and find out. Ignorance is not bliss. But not knowing and saying so is perfectly acceptable and finding out is the solution…

 DonInLondon 2005-2011

Arthur Gordon "Some people confuse acceptance with apathy, but there's all the difference in the world. Apathy fails to distinguish between what can and what cannot be helped; acceptance makes that distinction. Apathy paralyzes the will-to-action; acceptance frees it by relieving it of impossible burdens."

Courage to be ourselves ~ "That quality of mind which enables one to encounter danger and difficulties with firmness, aware of our fear, resolve of heart; valour; boldness; resolution; fortitude." Progress not Perfection..

Fear of anything we may imagine is often greater than fear in reality, leaning on fellowship, we develop courage as we learn and share our truth ~ Maya Angelou "History, despite its wrenching pain, cannot be unlived, but if faced with courage, need not be lived  again." -/- Fear is part of living..

Courage to change sometimes slowly, sometimes quickly, with help from our friends ~ John Wooden "Success is never final, failure is never fatal. It's courage that counts." Live in destiny, destiny and choice is here right now!

Mark Twain "It is curious that physical courage should be so common in the world and moral courage so rare."

Faith in action we change our attitudes and behaviour ~ C. S. Lewis "Courage is not simply one of the virtues, but the form of every virtue at the testing point."

AA Daily: RESCUED BY SURRENDERING ~ FEBRUARY 2, Characteristic of the so-called typical alcoholic is a narcissistic egocentric core, dominated by feelings of omnipotence, intent on maintaining at all costs its inner integrity…. Inwardly the alcoholic brooks no  control from man or God. He, the alcoholic, is and must be the master of his destiny. He will fight to the end to preserve that position. A.A. COMES OF AGE, p.311

The great mystery is: “Why do some of us die alcoholic deaths, fighting to preserve the ‘independence’ of our ego, while others seem to sober up effortlessly in A.A.?” Help from a Higher Power, the gift of sobriety, came to me when an otherwise unexplained desire  to stop drinking coincided with my willingness to accept the suggestions of the men and women of A.A. I had to surrender, for only by reaching out to God and my fellows could I be rescued.

-/-

I remember early in sobriety having some great concern about this step.  I had never really believed in any kind of spiritual power greater than me, only in the power of the rest of the world and people over my life and their ability to cause me great pain and suffering.  I mean if there was really some God or Universal Power out there, why had all these bad things happened to me all my life.  (At this point in my recovery, little did I know how much my choices had caused a great majority of this pain).   But an early sponsor explained to me about the difference between man's free will and the strength of a Power Greater than myself and how I could make a simple choice to believe in this Power.  This seemed so strange to me!  That just making a choice to believe I automatically would believe???   Nonsense.   But, in my strong desire to never have to drink again, I followed sponsorial direction and made that choice, speaking out loud to my sponsor that I had.

Well, an amazing thing happened to me.  I started being able to see how this Power was now working in my life.  Certainly the first and most obvious thing was it had been months since I'd had a drink.  Previous to sobriety, I couldn't not drink.  It wasn't my doing.  All I did was admit my desire to not drink.  

Then I started noticing other evidence of a PGTM.  Things some might call coincidences. Friends that were staying sober under the most trying circumstances.  Little "God Shots" all around me.  Soon I was watching for them, amazed at the multitude!   

Somewhere along the line, my "Belief" in a Power Greater Than Myself" became Faith, that I was cared for and provided for, by this power.   And I have been.  In the many years of my sobriety I seen too much to deny this great fact.