Last Updated on Thursday, 07 January 2010 20:21 Written by Jon M Monday, 15 September 2008 18:52
Welcome to the new 12 Step Recovery Chat area.
12 Step Chat is for members of all 12 Step Recovery Programs. This page is a place mark to let you know that we have the chat feature enabled for members only. So if you want to be a member of this Twelve Step Community Site. Just join for free and then you will immediately be able to participate in online chat.
Our Chat can be seen throughout the site. So if you are wanting to join in, again, any member can chat. The reason that we have the chat visible for all to see is to have an ongoing open discussion available 24 hours a day 7 days a week so that any addict or alcoholic seeking recovery at any time will hopefully find a welcome soul to chat with.
*PLEASE NOTE* The comments area below is just to leave comments.
If you want to chat:
- Scroll to the bottom of the site, and under the "Who's Online" menu, it will show who is available to chat.
- Just click on a users name and it will bring up a little chat window at to bottom right hand corner of your window.
- You can then chat with the other user who is online in that window.
- You are welcome to chat with multiple users.
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sunnyday
said:
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... I was expecting a chat room, but I guess this is more like a blog where people leave comments. |
kdizzle4321
said:
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... Glad to be here on this earth today and breathing. I am 43 days in recovery (notice i said recovery instead of clean) and I am so grateful to have been giving another day of repreive |
daniellelynnx24
said:
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... im not sure what to say.. or if anything helps but im an addict im a 19yr old with the world ahead of me and im so badly addicted to percription painkillers i jst cant stop.. i dnt even have alot of money anymore to get them and still i feel i need them every cent i get goes to pills.. all my time is spent trying to get pills or get money for pills.. im constantly worried about my next high and its exhausting i wish i cld stop but i cnt.. id i cld i would i dnt wanna be like this idk whats wrong with me..  |
escalatoraccident
said:
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My Experience Hey 16 - My opinion (just one guy) would be to make sure and take care of yourself first. I've dealt with similar situations with my dad, and I was always trying to figure out what to do with HIM instead of just making sure I took care of myself. You decide what is ok with you and go from there. If you need to set a boundary with him , for example you don't want him in and out so decide one and stick to it. That would involve having to sit down with him and discuss that. What I did with my dad is accept that I wanted to have some sort of relationship with him, so I just accept that he is who he is and see him when I do. I don't expect or hope for anything more from him. Ever. Hope that's helpful. |
I have a parent who addic
said:
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... Ok um I don't know how to put this but I'm not an addic my father is and it's a really long story but he left my mom when I was a baby and my mom died when I was 8 and my dad has never once tried to get into my life until now I am now 16 and it has been brought to my attention that one of the twelve steps of NA are to make a list of the people that u have hurt and try to make amends now this is why I think my dad started toce into my life . He met me for a month then dropped me like I was an old toy that he didn't want to play with any more and I haven't heard from him sense July 16. I'm just wondering how I should react to this. |
escalatoraccident
said:
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First Steps Hey canadianmom - Reaching out is a good first step. My advice is to keep doing that. Get into some meetings in your area. Feel free to keep sharing on the site, and understand you don't have to do it by yourself. |
1canadianmom
said:
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new to this and struggling. I'm a late bloomer...didn't really start drinking until a couple years ago when I was 45'ish. (Was dating an alcoholic and well...had to keep up as it was my $ he was spending. (I realize I had a choice and it was my own warped thinking that got me to where I am). Anyways, I've been trying to quit. I've tried the change the type of booze; go on a holiday to get away; try new distractions; etc. But everymorning I wake up thinking..today is going to be the day, and by the time I get home after dinner there is a drink in my hand. I can't believe how difficult this is!!! HELP....any advise would be appreciated. |
val
said:
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... boneytail...only your husband can want to get off the drugs. detox is hard to watch and until he says he wants help it will not work!!! i know my son has been addicted to oxy and now iv herion use for 4 years. the rules and boundaries need to be set and you need to be strong and stick to them. find yourself a bar a non group if possible. that will be your extended family and support!!! good luck |
val
said:
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... foresakenandforgiven, the person whom you call your friend is still your friend. The herion is a disease and has taken control. Set boundaries and rules and stick by them; such as rule #1 no using, if you use i can not have you in my life. #2 dont steal from me or others if you do i can not have you in my life. #3 do not lie. ETC. This has worked for me and my addict for 60 days today  Their recovery is theirs and yours is yours, seek guidance from possible from a nar a non group. good luck!!! |
escalatoraccident
said:
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Help for a friend Hey F&F It can be very difficult to want to help your friend when you're trying to protect yourself and your family as well. As hard as it seems, you have to make sure your family is safe first and foremost - enabling your friend and putting yourself at risk is no help at all. You should start by looking into your local Al-Anon groups where you can get the exact help and advice you're looking for from people in the same situation as yourself. Their website is http://www.al-anon.alateen.org/ start there and let us know how you're doing. If you need to talk to someone who has a treatment center about possibly getting your friend the treatment they need call our number at the top of the site, the operators there are professionals who can help you with that as well. Thanks Jon M. |
ForsakenandForgiven
said:
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Scared and confused I am not an addict of any sort, praise God, but I'm here seeking help. My roommate who I considered to be one of my close friends, recently relapsed on heroin. Apparently he was using most of our friendship and he has stolen precious heirlooms and other jewelry from myself and my family. When I came home to clean his room, I discovered needles and other paraphernalia. I have a 4yr old daughter, and he jeopardized not only my custody of her, and my ability to care for her (stealing the money I needed to support her), but also by risking her life by bringing drugs into our home. I love him unconditionally as my friend, but that doesn't stop me from feeling hurt, abused, and angry. How do I cope with these emotions and when is the best time to speak to him directly about everything that has transpired? I do my best to lead a non-judgemental life style, and I realize it was his addiction that spun this all wildly out of control. He is not a bad person, but he has made bad decisions that affected a great many people. How do I continue this friendship? How can I heal myself from this wound created by his addiction? I feel so lost even though I'm praying daily. Any advice would be greatly appreciated. |
escalatoraccident
said:
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Ideas So sorry to hear about your husband. I also wish you were in the states - I would know how to give you some direction. Is there anyway he can travel for a short period to "detox" in the states - claiming it is just a vacation? |
Boneytail
said:
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Help Hello everyone. I'm new to this. I'm not a user or alcoholic, but my husband is. He is an amazing man that had to have hip replacement back in February. Now he is addicted to Oxy and xanax and many other drugs I've found in the past few days. He wants very badly to stop, but I don't know how to help him. He needs to go for detox or detox at home, but we are in Bogota, Colombia (oil industry) and it's very hard to find anywhere to go. Does anyone know anything about stopping these drugs? How to get him off of them? I found a NA meeting here in the city where he can go to talk to others, but it's actually getting these out of his system and through that withdrawal. I will help him every step of the way, but I don't know how to do it. And I'm angry, so that doesn't' help him. I'm not angry in a mean way, but in a sad way. If I was 'home' in the US or Canada....I would know where to turn. But this is way bigger than me. |
escalatoraccident
said:
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Welcome Hey Heather, Welcome to the site and thanks for sharing. I hope you have a good day today. - Jon |
Curiousbrowneyes
said:
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... I've just looked into this program and i'm scared, scared to admit defeat .. to being weak and an addict .. but it is what i am and i am who i choose to be .. I've chosen the opposite of what i know i actually want. I haven't been to a meeting for myself yet, I've gone a few times with a friend and the people were / are very inspiring .. the struggles bring the addicts together .. its incredible .. my names Heather and i'm an addict. |
Pati B.
said:
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... I saw this somewhere and it reminded me that sometimes I think I'm unique  "Nobody's perfect...I'm Nobody" For the last few weeks I've been dealing with that double edged sword that we as alcoholics/addicts all seem to deal with: "I'm so better then you/I'm soooo not good enough" Also been thinking I could handle everything....forgot that my HP is in charge and I turned my life over to that power!!! I think I'm getting it that this is not so much a chat room but more like a comment room. love it none the less!! |
metco89
said:
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... New to this site but not to recovery, very grateful to have found this site to share with others just like me! No one is logged on now so hopefully next time. Have a blessed and serene day!! |
jennmarie888
said:
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new to AA for the 10th time Hello, first time at this site. Seems interesting, Been sober for 3 months now thanks to antibuse but I am becoming very isolated and lonesome I was forced to leave my boyfriend whom I lived with for over 5 years because he liked to get real drunk and real mean on a daily basis. I was not much better but at least I was only drunk and not mean. I am now back living with my mother, she is also a terrible alcoholic and probably one of the most annoying drunks on the planet. I can't stand to even look at the woman, she makes my skin crawl! No wonder I ended up a drunk and with a drunk for a boyfriend! Anyhow, I am stuck here for the moment because I am in the last few months of a graduate program that I some how made it through and also my dog that I have had for 10 years just got cancer and he is dying here. Wow my story sounds really sad now that I put it down in words, no wonder I feel like shit! So the reason that I am here is that for the first time in my adult life I don't have booze to numb my pain and I have no friends, no family and no support. I have been in an isolated abusive relationship for so long I have lost everyone and just wishing I had someone to talk to. Thanks for listening. |
ladi.r1
said:
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... It's a great day to be clean. Going to a potluck NA mtg. tonight at 7p. Going with 2 friends of mine. Ravioli. YUM. I hope everyone has a great day today. Keep it simple, call someone if you feel like picking up, and when in distress, calm yourself and listen for your HP's voice. |
student
said:
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Introdustion Hello all! My name is Sarah and I'm a student looking to get an inside look in addictions. I would appreciate any of your conversations, I am here to help, listen, talk and observe. Please feel free to speak to me any time. Thank you for your time and i hope to speak to you all! Sarah S. |
critch12
said:
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... Dear Ina, Thanks for sharing that, I think lots of people struggle with boredom and loneliness in early sobriety, especially when you are suddenly cut off from all the old using friends. I felt that way for a while, and what I did was throw myself into meetings. I forced myself to share, even when I didn't want to, so that people would get to know me. If you find a meeting you love, make it your home group and make a commitment to yourself to go every week. Finding a sponsor who has what I want has also been extremely helpful -- she helped me get out there and be more social. Hope this helps a little and congrats on 5 months!! Take care, Meaghan |
Ina.shae
said:
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Sober and Bored Being sober is great but Iam not used to being alone! I had to dump all my friends cause they were all still using. Just always bored. Been clean for 5 months. Day to day alone! |
escalatoraccident
said:
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Help, Coming Right Up :) Hey FelinE, Sorry for the confusion, but this isn't a chat room, just a place to post the instructions for using the website chat that is available across the entire site if you're logged in. If no one else is logged into the chat, try posting in the forum to continue the conversations. Scroll down to the bottom of the page (from any page on the site) - You'll see a box that says "Who's Online" - Take a look in there and anyone who is logged in and available, just click on their name and say hi. Just send me any questions through the messaging on my profile if you need help. Thanks Jon M. |
escalatoraccident
said:
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Hey oleboo Just a heads up, This isn't a chat room, just a place to post the instructions for using the website chat that is available across the entire site if you're logged in. If no one else is logged into the chat, try posting in the forum to continue the conversations. Thanks Jon M. |
escalatoraccident
said:
|
... Hey CherryPie, I'd like to help you more, but if you really feel suicidal, you need to go reach out for help that is available RIGHT NOW. Please call the National Suicide Prevention Hotline where you can really talk to someone right now. The number is 1-800-273-TALK (8255). Get help and get into some meetings. Don't go it alone. Jon M. |
CherryPie
said:
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Im so sad I cant stop crying. I tried to quit for three days. Thats how long it lasted. I just dont know what to do while sober! and Once the drugs are out of my system, I start to remember why I started using in the first place. I just have SO MUCH emotional pain, and i dont know what to do to make it go away. Im like THIS close to commiting suicide, no joke. I never actually gave in to suicide because i have a family that would be obviously very sad, but these feelings i have are getting stronger and arent going anywhere. I just would appreciate some advice on how to hang on. |
escalatoraccident
said:
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Keep coming back Hey, Keep coming back and hopefully you can find some help with the other people who are struggling. Wishing you the best. Jon M. |
CherryPie
said:
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... This is day 1 v.267 of quitting opiates. Its just so good the way it makes me feel, i doubt ill ever feel as good as i did when it first started. Like I was the person id always wanted to be. And now, what is there left now? I feel like id rather die than ever really quit for good. Its impossible. Ive tried methadone, soboxane, those little quit-fixes that the doctors prescribe. I had hope but i sold it all for too many years now. With drugs, nothing matters. Without drugs, everything is awful and i lose the will to live. |
critch12
said:
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new to site Hi! I am a 27-year-old woman, living in Southern California. I am a member of NA and AA. I have about 9 months clean and sober. I was wondering if anyone has had the experience of getting a little "squirrely" as their time approaches one year of sobriety. I'd appreciate any input |
kenny59
said:
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... the only promise of recovery that i have found is that "an addict any addict can stop using, loose the desire to use and find a new way to live. i have found this to be true. by following a few suggestions i have lost the desire to use. i don't know when it happened but today i live a life that is beyond my wildest dreams. |
meandhim
said:
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... we are new also this is our first time can we get someone to chat with we are getting clean from smoking crack cocain..... doing pretty good so far we are 30 days cleann but the thought still crosses the mind!!! |
Anonymouse
said:
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... I'm always wrong I'm never right but that's OK at least I'm being honest in what I say. |
blondiegurl
said:
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... having a beter day today then have been for a while ,ive been on a emotion roller coster this week and today isnt like that .. |
Doing pretty good these days, better than before. Thought I'd say hi.
George_S_5594
said:
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Regarding online video meetings I was wondering if there are any video chat meetings, because I am in an area of NY where meetings are very hard to get to due to distance. Can anyone help me find such meetings online? |
escalatoraccident
said:
|
Great Question Hey lamont, I think that's a great question and the 12 Step Recovery Forum would be a great open forum for people to answer. I've created a thread for people to answer the question it can be found at What do you Consider Addition? |
lamont
said:
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... Hey all I'm here hoping to gain more information and just share some of my thoughts. I notice that majority here look at addiction different than I do. So I'm curioius to what you consider addition, is it something outward or inward? |
escalatoraccident
said:
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Conversations Hey GaGeSmOmMy, This isn't actually the chat room, just a place to post the instructions. If no one else is logged into the chat, try posting in the forum to continue the conversations. I'm hope you're doing well, and feeling better. Thanks Jon M. |
jk
said:
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apples Why is it so many AA and NA members say they are "spiritual but not religious"? Is it because they think that means that they believe in God but aren't affiliated with a church - which isn't what "spiritual but religious" actually means. Just wonderin. |
reutterjt
said:
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Regret/The Past Change only happens when the pain of holding on is greater than the fear of letting go. We all made terrible mistakes and people will know we are recovering by our actions, not our words. |
escalatoraccident
said:
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In reply to rule62750 rule62750, First I want to say good luck and I'm wishing you the best, and I want to give you a number to a free helpline where you can talk to someone and find help. Call 1-866-881-8364 and they can help get some assistance. Again, wishing you the best. Jon M. |
rule62750
said:
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... Hi, I NEED ADVISE NOW! I am detoxing off of hydrocodone, my first day, from 4 to 10 5mg pills for the last 6 months. I am doing it cold turkey (not by choice) so if anyone has any advise on how to make this process any less painfull....I know I'm in for an unplesant experience. |
escalatoraccident
said:
|
Update on Chat Hi everyone. Just a reminder to help new people. I've added some more instructions on how to chat above (at the top of the page), but this area is only for comments. Your welcome to talk and share comments, but it's not the "live" chat room. To chat live with someone, please follow the instructions above. It will show you how to use the chat bar at the bottom. Thank You Jon M |
escalatoraccident
said:
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... Hey mtm, Make sure to check out my previous comment below yours. The forum and blogs are great places to start talking to people. Especially the Daily Check In forum. People usually comment once a day in there just to check in with the community and share how their recovery is going. |
mtm
said:
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New to this,in need of advice on how this works and some friends to chat and talk with Hi! I am new to this site and recovery. I am looking for some people who have time to explain to me what everyone does here and the benefits. Looking for some friends on here. Really need advice and guidance as I begin my first month of fighting this addiction. |
escalatoraccident
said:
|
More Places to Talk Hi everyone. I just see that everyone is sharing here in the comments which is awesome, but a great place to start discussion would be the 12 Step Forum at http://www.12steprecovery.com/12-step-forum.html or you can write your own blog posts on the 12 Step Recovery blog at http://www.12steprecovery.com/12-step-blogs. My hope is that there you can get more conversation with the other users and continue talking to people. Thanks, and message me on my profile if you have any questions. Jon M. |
whatnext
said:
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hi.. im jimmie. im having some problems in my life that i cant seem to get through. iv lost everything my job, my girl and my car. im not sure why lifes worth living |
cakgi
said:
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newcomer to this site hello i am here for first time i am looking forward to learning how to use all the ways available so i just wanted to say hello |
luckyrina
said:
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... At first step 3 was very hard for me. But as I work on it daily or try to do it daily. Things just start to change in a positive way. Now I don't have a problem with it. Today I can say I like doing step 3. |
Anonymouse
said:
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corrections IT isnt healthy for anyone,and I havnt been off my head for over three years yet it seems like. Im just making amends for any mental confusing I might have just created.No one understands me(Joke) |
Anonymouse
said:
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... Hi there Ive been steering away from recovery in the aspect of meetings,As I realize and accept Im an addict and that I was the problem all along. I find you can eat to much recovery and you can lose the scence of what is normal as I find having contact with people who are not addicts have got the same shit as me going on in there heads or emotionaly but dont turn to addiction.I dont get into all that God stuff as It just clashes with the Gods of other who have differnt names for it.You can end up a big book basher like the bible bashers and that is healthy for anyone. I this sight is good thou I carnt remember joining it and been off my head for over three years so it might have been him up stairs doing for me what I carnt do myself,It shows me how long it does take to sort out our minds and those chemical inballances that we have and a part of my subconscience brain is always finding ways to take me back,reconizing what is going on in myself is the key and reconizing them fckoff and run emotions. All answers are in the bigbook and and if it isnt in there and If I hear it sound differnt from what is in there I just switch my ears off.Keep it simple live it set the example,Stay altruristic and you carnt go wrong. I always notice if my recovery is ok or not is when Im waiting in a que at the super market If im not wanting to scream at the person in front of me for being slow paying the checkout then I know Im doing well but it isnt always the case so then I have to check myself and see whats going on. Thanks if anyone has read this.And love to you all.(yak)stay safe. |
escalatoraccident
said:
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Sharing links and information Hey Dmobile, Thanks for sharing your articles, but please keep links out on your profile. If you want to add more articles, write some blogs here on the site! That way the members can come here and discuss your articles with you. Thanks Jon M. |
Dmobile215
said:
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Ending The War With Addiction I started another article I am hoping to get more people reading and discussing there thoughts I am always ready to talk with someone concerning addiction. I wrote this when I feel like I am getting weak I start to write something or if I hear something that someone has went through then I start to write I am hoping this will help someone out there with there addiction. Title: Ending The War With Addiction http://healthmad.com/health/en...addiction/ |
Dmobile215
said:
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Meetings and more Meetings I just finished a new article for those who are in recovery please take some time to read it and post your comments. Thanks http://healthmad.com/addiction...-meetings/ |
escalatoraccident
said:
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12 Step Recovery Team Member We've been around for a few years. The community, even though it's only been up less than a year, has many active members. Check the 12 Step Blogs at:http://www.12steprecovery.com/12-step-blogs And the 12 step Forums at: http://www.12steprecovery.com/12-step-forum.html Because of the diversity of the users, many people are on at different times and miss each other in the chat. Drop me a message on my profile if you need anything. Jon M |
escalatoraccident
said:
|
12 Step Recovery Team Member Hi everyone. Just a reminder I've added some more instructions on how to chat above, but this area is only for comments. Your welcome to talk and share comments, but it's not a "live" chat room. To chat live with someone, please follow the instructions above. Thank You Jon M |
Kristiana
said:
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... I really need someone to talk to. To help me through this...to let me know I'm not crazy. Maybe I am sick...but I need someone to let me know I'm not crazy. Please. Anyone who's willing please let me know. |
Kristiana
said:
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HELP I'm not 100% that I have a problem...or at least not sure I'm ready to admit it. I need someone to talk to, to help with everything. Please. I know that something is off, just not sure if it's something serious or just in my head. Anyone who's willing please let me know. Thanks. |
Dmobile215
said:
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Life is a dream and what u make it! Sometimes we all make our big mistakes in life and sometimes we make the biggest ones but The time to learn from your mistakes as you make them don't make the same mistakes, and keep repeating them this is really bad for someone in recovery its time we take our lives back. Start living again and speaking to that person next door who never even speaks to you anymore. Let the past be in the past, people will know you are recovered by your actions. Not just a word. |
escalatoraccident
said:
|
12 Step Recovery Team Member Hi everyone. Sorry that I didn't notice until now that you were trying to chat in the comments section. I've added some more instructions on how to chat above, but this area is only for comments. Your welcome to talk and share comments, but it's not a "live" chat room. To chat live with someone, please follow the instructions above. |
rosita202
said:
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... I am with you tinkmed - i qualify for aa, na, and alanon - i was an alanon before i ever became and addict - i just didn't know it |
LuWana
said:
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AA/Al-Anon/NA WTH Come on In Hi guys. just logged on. I've been south of the border in Mexico and not online. Now I am enjoying reading your blogs. Speaking for myself, I need both AA and Al-Anon. After several years of sobriety I found I was sponsoring tons of folks and living their problems in my head. I worried all the time and my life was not at peace. Outwardly, I was a success but I was driven. When I started in Al-Anon, it was rough. Wisely I was counseled to leave my membership in the "other" program at the door. The Al-Anon meetings I attended were hard core black belt attended by tradtionalist and they saved my life. It took time for the these two programs to sync and harmonize for me; however, I became a better sponsor immediately. Currently, I use three different programs when working with newcomers. I find the AA Big Book to be invaluable. The Basic Text of NA current in content. The workbook of NA for the steps really hits home. The 12 x 12 of Al-Anon, especially the 10th Step has a few sentences in it that ought not to be missed. The Al-Anon Paths to Recovery is the current book that I am loving {it covers Steps/Traditions/Concepts}. The questions in this book are thought provoking and a valuable tool for myself personally and as a sponsor. So, I say. Yes to anything that works Tinkmed. Come on in, the water is good. |
tinkmed
said:
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letting go sometimes i think i need both aa and alanon. one person makes a remark about another person to the mother of the second person that was really uncalled for and was their opinion of how a situation might affect the people involved. the gossip has no clue as to what is really going on and is assuming that what she knows is indeed fact. my need was to step off into this non issue in my life with both feet and ego was telling me that i needed to help straighten this mess out and set the whole thing straight. i think however that HP has grabbed me by the shirt collar and told me to just hold on.. this is a non issue in my life for now and until it becomes my problem i don't need to claim it as such..dang HP can be so smart at times. lol |
Ohioqwerty
said:
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... id like to ask you guys a question.. first.. describe your attitude today toward the Twelve Steps. What do you like? What are your doubts or dislikes? now id like to know... In your own words, describe what "working my program" means to you. |
cookiemonster
said:
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... Thanks Tinkmed. You are so right. I don't even realise I am doing it, but my addict is speaking there in those excuses. |
tinkmed
said:
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o.k. do we play now? lol trying to get the hang of this chat thingy....are we playing puter tag in the chat room or do we just keep trying to catch someone here? |
tinkmed
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reply to the cookie monster. o.k. not too sure how this works but i have a suggestion for cookie monster. to seek true sobriety and clean time, the problem is to be faced head on without hesitation and without a lot of "buts" in your program. example... i tried to do this but ...... perhaps i tried to do this and i haven't reached my goal because perhaps i haven't put enough effort into my program. 12 step programs are suggestions that guide us to our goals. for us not to put forth 100 per-cent all of the time does not make us a lesser human than the next but makes us realize that we are human and we do have faults and we need to work harder on these faults (addiction, alcoholism, etc.) also i might bring up another point at this time... a slip, a backslide, using, over-eating, etc. are just that...there is no little or large...just as death is death...we cannot be a little dead or a lot dead, but if we continue with our addictions, it is possible that we will become dead prior to a time that we would be dead without these addictions. just a few thoughts for you to consider. tink  |
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