Posted by:
on May 25, 2010
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Today is May 25th, 2010
My relationship with my wife has improved since I got sober 426 days ago. The improvement is welcomed by both of us and life is more manageable. Life for us still has problems but, I have change in the way I respond to them.
I have changed - Today I ask for help.
Last Friday I was upset about a conversation my wife and I had about money.
My mind was telling me to say all kind of things to her and storm out of the house and go... (get some air??)
In AA I have learned to pause when I am agitated or in doubt and ask for guidance.
The first thing I did was to pray to my Higher Power, saying that: "I cannot handle the emotions that I am feeling, I give this situation to you. Please help me thru this and give my wife what she needs. Please help me align my will with your will and help me to still my thoughts long enough to hear my message from you."
Then I called my sponsor. My sponsor listened to me and told me a similar story that he had experienced with his wife. WOW!, my disease tells me that my problem is bigger than it is and that I am the only one that's going thru this.
My actions today come from me not listening to what I think, but come from taking the suggestions that come from the Big Book, 12 + 12 and my sponsor.
Today is Tuesday, the feelings and problems I experienced Friday are GONE. I did only the things suggested. The "money problem" is still there but solutions are on the way. I sponsor guided me to look for my part in the problem and let God do the rest.
My relationship with my wife is better now, one day at a time.
I am grateful to my Higher Power and AA for my life, sanity and sobriety.