Just for Today – September 23 – Dealing with Gossip

“In accordance with the principles of recovery, we try not to judge, stereotype, or moralize with each other.”
Basic Text, page 11

Recovery in Narcotics Anonymous often requires us to open up about our lives in ways we never did before. As we share our struggles, victories, and personal stories, we invite others into our journey. However, this transparency can sometimes lead to gossip within the fellowship. While it’s natural to feel hurt or upset when others gossip about us, withdrawing from the fellowship is not the answer. Instead, we learn to accept the reality of human behavior and focus on living our lives according to the principles of recovery.

Living in a “Glass House”

In Narcotics Anonymous, we build relationships based on honesty, vulnerability, and shared experiences. This openness allows us to support one another in ways that were often absent during active addiction. However, the same openness can sometimes lead to feelings of exposure, as our fellow members may know more about our personal lives than anyone else. They know where we work, who we spend time with, and even the details of our recovery journey, such as which step we’re on or what challenges we’re facing.

Living in this “glass house” can be uncomfortable, especially when gossip arises. It’s easy to feel judged or misunderstood when others make assumptions about our lives. We may even be tempted to withdraw from the fellowship to avoid the discomfort that comes with being the subject of gossip. However, doing so only isolates us and cuts us off from the support and love we need in recovery.

The Harm of Isolation

Withdrawing from the fellowship to avoid gossip is not a solution. In fact, it only harms us by removing the positive connections and support that are essential for our recovery. In NA, we find a community of people who understand our struggles, offer encouragement, and walk alongside us on our journey of healing. By isolating ourselves, we deprive ourselves of these invaluable relationships.

The fellowship of Narcotics Anonymous is a lifeline for many of us. It offers love, friendship, and the shared experience of recovery. These relationships are built on trust, mutual respect, and empathy. While gossip can be hurtful, allowing it to push us away from the fellowship ultimately harms our recovery more than the gossip itself.

Accepting Ourselves and Others

One of the key lessons we learn in recovery is acceptance—both of ourselves and of others. Instead of withdrawing or reacting to gossip, we can choose to focus on our own recovery and live according to the principles we’ve learned in the program. The more secure we become in our personal recovery, the less the opinions of others will affect us.

When we live authentically and make decisions based on the guidance of our Higher Power, we grow in self-confidence. We begin to trust ourselves and the direction we’re taking in recovery, and we care less about what others may say or think. As we strengthen our connection to our Higher Power, the judgments of others lose their power over us.

Moreover, by embracing the principle of acceptance, we learn to tolerate the imperfections of others. Gossip is a part of human nature, and it will inevitably happen. But rather than letting it affect us, we can choose to focus on what truly matters—our own spiritual growth and the relationships that support our recovery.

Practicing Principles Over Personalities

The Basic Text encourages us to avoid judging, stereotyping, or moralizing with one another. This principle—often summarized as “principles over personalities”—reminds us that recovery is about focusing on our common goal of staying clean, not getting caught up in personal conflicts or opinions.

When gossip occurs, it’s easy to get drawn into personal disputes or feel the need to defend ourselves. But by staying grounded in the principles of recovery, we can rise above these distractions. Instead of reacting to gossip, we can choose to practice patience, tolerance, and understanding. By doing so, we protect our peace of mind and stay focused on what truly matters—our recovery and the guidance of our Higher Power.

Staying Committed to Recovery

Ultimately, our recovery is about our own journey, not the opinions of others. The decisions we make in recovery, the steps we take, and the growth we experience are personal. While gossip can be hurtful, it doesn’t define us or our progress.

By staying committed to the fellowship of Narcotics Anonymous, we demonstrate our dedication to living a life of recovery. We learn to let go of what others say and focus on the actions and principles that keep us clean. The opinions of others become less important as we strengthen our relationship with our Higher Power and stay true to ourselves.

In the end, the fellowship is a place where we can grow, heal, and connect with others who share our experiences. While gossip may be an unfortunate reality, it does not have to derail our recovery. By staying focused on the principles of NA and embracing the support of the fellowship, we can continue to thrive in our journey.

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