“We may fear that being in touch with our feelings will trigger an overwhelming chain reaction of pain and panic.”
– Basic Text, page 29
The Fourth Step of Narcotics Anonymous asks us to take a fearless and thorough moral inventory of ourselves. This can be intimidating, as it forces us to confront our character defects and past behaviors head-on. For many of us, the thought of facing our feelings—especially the painful ones—creates fear. We worry that acknowledging our emotions will unleash a flood of pain, anxiety, and regret that we won’t be able to handle. But through surrender and trust in our Higher Power, we can find the strength to work through these feelings and continue on our path to recovery.
One of the most common fears in recovery is that getting in touch with our emotions will be too overwhelming. In addiction, many of us used drugs to avoid feeling anything at all—whether it was pain, sadness, fear, or even joy. The drugs numbed our emotions, allowing us to ignore the deep hurt caused by our defects of character and past actions. Now, without the buffer of substances, those buried feelings begin to surface, and that can be frightening.
The Fourth Step can bring these feelings to the forefront. It’s a step that requires deep reflection on our thoughts, behaviors, and the patterns that have shaped our lives. As we become more aware of our defects, we might experience discomfort or even emotional pain. This discomfort may tempt us to retreat from the process of recovery, afraid of what we’ll find if we continue to explore our feelings.
However, it’s not the awareness of our defects that causes the most pain—it’s the defects themselves. These flaws have been hurting us all along, whether we acknowledged them or not. The key to moving forward is to face these feelings rather than avoiding them. Refusing to confront our emotions only deepens the hurt and strengthens the grip our defects have on us.
The Fourth Step can be a turning point in recovery, but it requires courage and surrender. Instead of running from our feelings, we must lean into them and trust that the process of recovery will help us heal. The Twelve Steps are designed to guide us through this journey, offering support and solutions for dealing with the pain caused by our character defects.
Surrender is essential at this stage of recovery. By surrendering to the process, we accept that we cannot heal on our own. We need the help of our Higher Power to guide us through the difficult emotions and to help us make peace with our past. The Third Step—turning our will and lives over to the care of a Higher Power—gives us the foundation we need to approach the Fourth Step with trust and confidence. We don’t have to do this alone; our Higher Power is there to support us every step of the way.
Acceptance is another crucial component. Rather than denying our emotions or defects, we accept them as part of who we are. This doesn’t mean we condone or cling to these defects—it means we acknowledge them without judgment, understanding that they are part of our human experience. Through acceptance, we open the door to healing and growth.
The pain we feel when working the Fourth Step isn’t just about becoming aware of our emotions—it’s about confronting the defects that have caused our suffering. These defects—whether they are patterns of dishonesty, selfishness, or resentment—have harmed us and those around us for years. As we start to identify them, we may feel shame or guilt, but this is where the true work of recovery begins.
The Twelve Steps don’t just help us recognize our defects; they guide us in overcoming them. Once we’ve identified the sources of our pain, we can begin to address them directly. The steps that follow the Fourth—especially Steps Six and Seven—allow us to ask our Higher Power for help in removing these defects. This is where real change happens, as we slowly let go of the behaviors that have kept us trapped in addiction and suffering.
As we continue through the steps, we find that the emotional pain we once feared begins to lessen. Instead of being controlled by our defects, we start to gain control over them. This process helps us develop emotional resilience, enabling us to face our feelings without fear.
Working the Fourth Step requires us to trust the process of recovery. It’s natural to feel anxious or overwhelmed at the thought of facing our feelings and defects, but recovery teaches us that we are stronger than we think. With the support of our Higher Power and the fellowship of Narcotics Anonymous, we can confront even the most painful aspects of our past and find healing.
We can also remind ourselves of the progress we’ve already made in recovery. The fact that we’re here, clean and working the steps, is proof that we’re capable of change. We’ve already experienced the relief that comes from surrendering our addiction and turning our lives over to a Higher Power. That same Higher Power is ready to guide us through the difficult emotions we encounter in the Fourth Step.
When we feel overwhelmed, it can be helpful to look back at the hope we found in the Second Step—the belief that a power greater than ourselves can restore us to sanity. By returning to this hope, we can move through the discomfort of the Fourth Step, trusting that the process will bring us closer to freedom and peace.
The Fourth Step may bring up painful emotions, but we don’t have to be afraid of them. By acknowledging our feelings and defects, we take the first steps toward healing. The courage to face our emotions and work through them is what ultimately frees us from the pain of addiction.
With the guidance of our Higher Power and the tools provided by the Twelve Steps, we can continue in our recovery with confidence. Each step we take brings us closer to emotional freedom and spiritual growth. The feelings we once feared become opportunities for transformation and healing.