“We need not lose faith when we become rebellious.”
– Basic Text, page 34
For many addicts, rebellion isn’t just a reaction; it’s a way of life. Throughout our lives, we may have resisted authority, guidance, and direction—often without even thinking about it. In recovery, this deep-seated pattern can resurface, potentially jeopardizing our growth. The Narcotics Anonymous (NA) program, however, teaches us that rebellion is not insurmountable. Through self-examination and inventory, we can uncover and address our rebellious tendencies, transforming them into opportunities for personal growth.
Many of us have lived much of our lives in a state of revolt. Authority figures—whether teachers, parents, bosses, or even the rules of society itself—were often met with defiance. This pattern of rebellion became ingrained in our thinking. When someone tried to direct us or offer guidance, our immediate response was often negative, rejecting their input even if it was beneficial.
For many addicts, this automatic rejection of authority becomes a deeply troubling character defect. It can prevent us from accepting help, following suggestions, or being open to new ideas. The mindset of “I know better” can isolate us, keeping us stuck in destructive behaviors or preventing us from growing in recovery.
In recovery, however, rebellion can become an obstacle. Our resistance to authority—whether it’s the wisdom of our sponsors, the guidance of the Twelve Steps, or the structure of NA meetings—can lead us away from the path that is helping us heal. Understanding and addressing this rebellious nature is key to maintaining our spiritual and emotional growth.
The process of self-examination, or personal inventory, is one of the most effective ways to uncover the roots of our rebelliousness. In recovery, we are encouraged to take regular inventory of our thoughts, actions, and emotions. This practice allows us to explore the patterns in our reactions to life and identify when and why rebellion shows up.
When we examine our rebellion through the inventory process, we often discover that it isn’t always justified. While we may feel that people, institutions, or situations are the problem, the truth is that our reactions to those external factors are what really matter. As the Basic Text teaches, “what others did to us was not as important as how we responded to the situations we found ourselves in.”
By writing out our feelings and exploring past situations, we can begin to see that our rebellion was often rooted in fear, insecurity, or a desire to protect ourselves from rejection. It may have felt easier to reject others before they could reject us. However, this defensive mindset only reinforced our isolation and distrust, keeping us disconnected from the support and guidance we needed.
For some of us, rebellion is not an occasional reaction but a chronic pattern that affects all areas of our lives. We may appear to go along with suggestions or directions, but deep down, we harbor resentment toward those who offer guidance. This hidden rebellion can manifest in subtle ways—through passive resistance, avoidance, or silently stewing over perceived slights.
If left unchecked, these feelings of resentment can grow, leading us further away from the program of recovery. We may begin to question the validity of the steps, challenge the wisdom of our sponsors, or withdraw from the fellowship altogether. What started as a quiet rebellion can spiral into behaviors that threaten our sobriety and well-being.
Recognizing these patterns early is critical. When we notice resentment or rebellion creeping in, it’s essential to pause and reflect. Why are we resisting? What fear or insecurity is driving our reaction? By taking the time to inventory our thoughts and feelings, we can disrupt the cycle of rebellion before it leads us astray.
The inventory process is a powerful tool for uncovering, evaluating, and altering our rebellious patterns. It gives us the space to step back from our emotions and reactions, allowing us to see the bigger picture. Through this process, we can begin to recognize when rebellion is serving as a defense mechanism and when it’s harming our growth.
By regularly taking inventory, we can become more mindful of how we respond to authority, suggestions, and guidance. Over time, this awareness allows us to make conscious choices about our reactions rather than automatically rejecting what is offered. Instead of seeing direction as something to resist, we can view it as an opportunity to learn and grow.
Taking inventory also helps us align our actions with our true values. When we act out of rebellion, we often do so impulsively, without considering whether our behavior reflects the person we want to be. By pausing to reflect before we act, we give ourselves the chance to respond in ways that are consistent with our values and our recovery goals.
The goal of recovery is not to eliminate every rebellious feeling we have. After all, rebellion is part of the human experience. However, we can learn to manage these feelings in a way that promotes our growth rather than undermines it. By addressing rebellion through regular inventory, we free ourselves from the turmoil that often accompanies it.
Freedom from rebellion means learning to respond thoughtfully rather than react impulsively. It means choosing to trust the wisdom of the program, our sponsors, and the fellowship, even when our initial reaction is resistance. It also means recognizing that sometimes, the authority we are rebelling against is not external at all, but our own internal fear and insecurity.
In recovery, we gain the ability to change not the world around us, but how we react to it. By letting go of the need to rebel against everything, we create space for acceptance, growth, and peace. As we continue to work the steps and take inventory, we develop the humility to recognize when our rebellion is harming us and the strength to let it go.