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The Narcotics Anonymous daily reflection for April 9th tackles a topic familiar to many in recovery: the urge to “act out” on negative emotions. The passage, titled “Acting Out,” reminds us that true freedom lies not in suppressing our feelings, but in learning to manage them without resorting to destructive behaviors.
The passage opens with a candid acknowledgement – many newcomers in NA arrive not with a burning desire to stop using, but rather, a yearning to escape the problems their addiction has created. The initial focus isn’t necessarily on sobriety, but on relief from the consequences of drug use. It’s a crucial point – recovery is a journey, and the initial steps are often about recognizing the harm caused by addiction and the need for change.
However, the passage quickly pivots to a powerful truth: true and lasting freedom comes from a shift in perspective. As we stay clean and work the NA program, we begin to see that the “high” and the problems it creates are inextricably linked. We can’t have one without the other. This realization, coupled with a willingness to endure some initial discomfort, leads us to stay clean, not just because we have to, but because we genuinely desire a life free from addiction.
The reflection then beautifully expands this concept beyond the realm of substance abuse. It highlights how this principle applies to all negative impulses. We may feel the urge to lash out, withdraw, or engage in self-destructive behavior simply because we want to. The passage reminds us that these feelings, while powerful, are not inherently harmful. The danger lies in acting on them.
The key takeaway – just like with the initial desire to use, we don’t have to act on these destructive urges. Even if we’ve “gotten away with it” before, the consequences can be devastating. The passage emphasizes a crucial point: if we’re not willing to pay the price for acting out, we simply don’t have to.
The passage acknowledges that resisting these urges can be difficult, as challenging as the initial days of staying clean. However, it offers a powerful message of hope – we are not alone. Countless others in recovery have grappled with these same impulses and found the strength to resist.
There’s a clear roadmap to achieving this freedom:
The daily reflection concludes with a powerful affirmation: “It’s okay to feel my feelings. With the help of my sponsor, my NA friends, and my Higher Power, I am free not to act out on my negative feelings.” This simple statement encapsulates the essence of the passage.
Recovery is a daily practice. Every day, we choose to face our emotions, to seek support, and to draw strength from our Higher Power. Through this commitment, we find the freedom to live a life beyond the compulsion to act out, a life guided by conscious choice rather than impulsive reaction.
The journey from the initial discomfort of early recovery to the lasting freedom of emotional sobriety is a testament to the transformative power of the NA program. By embracing our feelings, seeking support, and drawing strength from a Higher Power, we can find the peace and serenity that eluded us while acting out on our negative emotions.