Just for Today – December 8 – Calling a Defect a Defect

“When we see how our defects exist in our lives and accept them, we can let go of them and get on with our new life.”
– Basic Text, pages 33–34

In recovery, identifying and addressing character defects is an essential part of our growth. However, our ability to see the harm caused by these defects often depends on what we call them. When we mislabel defects or soften their impact with euphemisms, we minimize their seriousness. This can prevent us from seeking help to remove them, delaying our progress toward a healthier, more authentic life.

Mislabeling Our Defects

Calling a defect by a less threatening or flattering name can make it seem harmless. For example:

• People Pleasing: It might sound kind or selfless, but it often involves dishonesty and manipulation. We hide our true feelings to control others’ reactions and gain approval.
• Easygoing: While it sounds positive, it can mask behaviors like laziness, procrastination, or avoidance of challenges and conflict.
• Confidence: Overconfidence might hide arrogance or a need to control others.

These labels can keep us from seeing how deeply these behaviors affect our lives and relationships.

The Importance of Honesty

Honesty is key to addressing our defects. If we can clearly see how a behavior affects us and others, we can take the necessary steps to change.

Steps to Honest Self-Assessment:

1. Describe the Behavior: Write down or reflect on your actions and patterns.
2. Consider the Impact: How does this behavior affect your life and relationships?
3. Ask for Feedback: Share with your sponsor or NA friends and ask for their perspective.

By acknowledging the true nature of our behaviors, we can name our defects honestly and begin the process of letting them go.

Accepting and Releasing Defects

Once we’ve identified a defect, we can work on accepting its presence in our lives. Acceptance doesn’t mean resignation—it means recognizing the defect as a part of us that we’re ready to change.

Through Step Six, we become willing to have these defects removed, and in Step Seven, we ask our Higher Power for help in letting them go. This process transforms the way we approach ourselves and the world.

The Role of Sponsors and Fellowship

It’s not always easy to identify our defects on our own. That’s where sponsors and fellow members come in. Their perspective and experience can help us see ourselves more clearly.

How Others Can Help:

• Objective Feedback: Sponsors can point out patterns we may not notice.
• Shared Experience: Hearing others’ stories can help us recognize similar defects in ourselves.
• Support: Others remind us that we’re not alone and encourage us through the process of change.

Progress Over Perfection

Recognizing and addressing defects is a lifelong journey. While we may not always name them perfectly or release them immediately, each step we take in the right direction brings us closer to the person we want to be.