“We made a list of all persons we had harmed and became willing to make amends to them all.”
—Step Eight
All human beings struggle with self-centeredness, but for addicts, this struggle is even more challenging due to the chronic self-centeredness that lies at the core of addiction. Many of us have lived as if we believed we were the last people on earth, utterly blind to the effect our behavior had on those around us.
The Eighth Step provides us with a process to honestly examine our past relationships. By revisiting the writing from our Fourth Step, we can identify the effects our actions had on others. Recognizing the harm we caused, we become willing to take responsibility by making amends.
The variety of people we encounter daily and the quality of our relationships with them largely determine the quality of our lives. Love, humor, excitement, and caring—the things that make life worth living—derive much of their meaning from being shared with others. Understanding this, we want to discover the true nature of our relationships and mend any breaks we may find.
Just for today: I want to fully enjoy the companionship of my fellows. I will examine my relationships with the people in my life. Where I find I’ve harmed others, I will seek the willingness to make amends to them.