Just For Today | July 4 | Conflict

“We learn that conflicts are a part of reality, and we learn new ways to resolve them instead of running from them.”
Basic Text, page 87

The Inevitability of Conflict

From time to time, we all experience conflicts. It may be that we just can’t get along with that new co-worker. Maybe our friends are driving us crazy. Or perhaps our partner isn’t living up to our expectations. Dealing with any conflict is difficult for recovering addicts. When tempers rise, it is often a good idea to back away from the situation until cooler minds prevail. We can always return for further discussion when we have calmed down. We can’t avoid troubling situations, but we can use time and distance to find perspective.

Managing Conflicts Effectively

Conflict is a part of life. We can’t go through our entire recovery without encountering disagreements and differences of opinion. Sometimes we can back away from these situations, taking time to reflect on them, but there always comes a time when conflict must be resolved. When that time comes, we take a deep breath, say a prayer, and apply the principles our program has given us: honesty, openness, responsibility, forgiveness, trust, and all the rest.

Principles for Resolving Conflicts

1. Honesty: Approach the conflict with a clear and truthful perspective. Avoid exaggerations and stick to the facts.
2. Openness: Be open to hearing the other person’s viewpoint. This fosters mutual respect and understanding.
3. Responsibility: Acknowledge your role in the conflict and take responsibility for your actions.
4. Forgiveness: Be willing to forgive and let go of resentment. Holding onto anger only prolongs the conflict.
5. Trust: Trust the process and the principles of recovery to guide you through the resolution.

Practical Steps to Confront Conflict

• Step Back: When emotions are high, it’s crucial to step back and give yourself time to cool down. This helps in gaining a clearer perspective.
• Reflect: Take some time to reflect on the situation. Understand your feelings and the reasons behind the conflict.
• Communicate: Once you are calm, approach the person involved and communicate openly. Use “I” statements to express your feelings without blaming.
• Listen: Practice active listening. Allow the other person to share their perspective without interrupting.
• Find Common Ground: Look for areas where you both agree and build from there. This can help in finding a mutually acceptable solution.

Embracing Conflict as a Growth Opportunity

We didn’t get clean to keep running from life—and in recovery, we don’t have to run anymore. Embracing conflict as an opportunity for growth is essential. Each disagreement or difference of opinion can teach us valuable lessons about ourselves and others. It helps us build resilience and improve our communication skills. By facing conflicts head-on, we strengthen our ability to navigate life’s challenges.

The Role of Prayer and Meditation

In moments of conflict, taking a moment to pray or meditate can provide clarity and calm. This practice helps us connect with our Higher Power and seek guidance. It also gives us the strength to approach conflicts with a peaceful and compassionate mindset.

Real-Life Applications

Consider scenarios where these principles can be applied. Whether it’s a disagreement with a colleague, a misunderstanding with a friend, or a conflict within the family, the steps and principles outlined here can guide us towards healthy resolutions.

1. Workplace Conflicts: Use honesty and openness to address issues directly with coworkers. Practice active listening and seek common solutions.
2. Friendship Disputes: Reflect on the cause of the conflict, communicate your feelings calmly, and be willing to forgive and move forward.
3. Family Arguments: Take responsibility for your part in the conflict, trust the family bond, and work towards a resolution together.

Conclusion

Just for today: The principles my program has given me are sufficient to guide me through any situation. I will strive to confront conflict in a healthy way. By consistently applying these principles, we can turn conflicts into opportunities for personal growth and stronger relationships. Recovery equips us with the tools to handle life’s challenges without running away, empowering us to live more balanced and fulfilling lives.