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“When we finally get our own selfish motives out of the way, we begin to find a peace that we never imagined possible.” Basic Text, page 44
In the journey of recovery, one of the pivotal steps is introspection, where we scrutinize our beliefs, actions, and motives. Early in recovery, our actions might be driven by selfish desires, often masked by good intentions. We might spend excessive time and money on people, not out of genuine affection, but in the hopes of being liked or accepted. Over time, as our recovery progresses, our motives can evolve, aligning more closely with our true values and desires.
Initially, our interactions and relationships might be heavily influenced by a need for approval. For example, we may have engaged in relationships or lavished gifts on others, seeking validation and acceptance. However, as we grow in recovery, our motives can shift significantly. We begin to engage with others because we genuinely care for them, not because we need something from them. This transition marks a significant step in our personal growth and healing.
Our romantic relationships also reflect this change. In the past, we might have sought out partners to fill a void within ourselves, driven by an inner hollowness and the need for external validation. As we progress in our recovery, our approach to relationships changes. We seek partnerships based on mutual respect, shared values, and the desire to enrich each other’s lives. This shift from neediness to genuine partnership signifies a deeper emotional maturity and a healthier approach to relationships.
Similarly, our approach to working the steps in our recovery process undergoes a transformation. Initially, we might adhere strictly to the steps out of fear—fear of relapse or fear of judgment. As we continue on our path, our motivation becomes less about avoiding negative outcomes and more about seeking positive growth. We work the steps not just to avoid relapse, but to achieve spiritual growth, inner peace, and a deeper understanding of ourselves.
As our motives shift, we begin to develop a wholesomeness of spirit. This newfound peace of mind propels our recovery into a new realm. Our actions become less about personal gain and more about genuine generosity and love. We start to extend our love and share our recovery journey with others without expecting anything in return. This selfless sharing becomes a legacy we leave for others who are yet to join us on the path to recovery.
Our changing motives reflect a deeper purpose in life. We realize that we have much more to offer than our previous neediness and insecurities. By sharing our experiences and extending our support to others, we create a ripple effect, influencing those around us positively. This generosity, born out of genuine affection and a desire to help, becomes a cornerstone of our legacy in the recovery community.
Reflecting on our motives should be a daily practice. By regularly examining why we do what we do, we can ensure that our actions are aligned with our values and not driven by selfish desires. This ongoing introspection helps us maintain the integrity of our recovery journey and fosters continuous personal growth.
Changing our motives is a fundamental aspect of recovery. It signifies a shift from selfish desires to genuine, selfless actions. This transformation is not only beneficial for our personal growth but also for the well-being of those around us. By examining our motives and striving to act from a place of love and generosity, we can achieve a peace and wholesomeness that enriches our lives and leaves a positive impact on others.
Just for today, reflect on your motives. Are they driven by selfish desires or genuine affection? Aim to do things for the right reasons, not just for personal benefit. Embrace the peace that comes from acting out of love and generosity.